that age because I could always use the excuse that men should be older than women upon marriage. Now mind you that only works if your parents are "old school". You know the parents I’m talking about, they left India in the 1950’s or 1960’s and India (from what I’m told) is far more modern now than back then. The end result was that my brothers and sisters and I were raised with core Punjabi Indian values of the 40’s or 50’s! I didn’t know any better. My parents only wanted a few things from the kids. First and foremost was to succeed. Now all parents want their kids to succeed but it seemed as if there was always a higher threshold put upon us than our North American er, white friends. The other was that there was to be no dating. Again I was fairly cool with that considering that I had a lot of friends who were girls and it was "OK" if the girls called my house. My mom even knew most of my female friends by name. There wasn’t anything clandestine in the whole thing. It was just that our parents from when we were at young ages taught us that we were not supposed to date in our culture. Simple as that! Now as for buying time, that excuse didn’t work for long because my parents started showing me pictures of Indian women when I was 22 years old. I got out of discussing the topic by turning the tables. Since I still had 2 years left in Engineering I told my parents that "in order for me to even consider a life partner I must first be able to provide for her". After all it was parents who always pushed the education hard. To my disbelief they actually bought that excuse! Now that I think about it really was best to wait until after I finished my degree to even consider marriage. Now I truly believe that parents should really lay low on the marriage thing until their kids are done their degrees. First off, finishing a degree is tough enough without your parents constantly bothering you. Here’s my take on the whole education and timing bit: In this day and age, I believe an educated man wants to be married with an educated woman. And guys, I’m going to be very blunt, you see pictures of far better looking women if you’re a professional than if your not. Trust me I couldn’t keep my eyes off the picture my parents showed me of my wife. Well she obviously wasn’t my wife then but I clearly remember my reaction to my parents upon seeing her picture. I told them "Wow, now your on it!" Speaking of pictures, I always found that my parents never, ever knew how to bring up the topic of marriage, pictures, girls, etc. Remember they’re old school and we never really had the birds and bees talk so it was all new to them. It always seemed they would bring up the topic of marriage at the wrong time. Which I guess begs the question: When is the right time? Anyway, it always seemed I was ready to go out on a weekend or I was going to go shoot hoops or something. Anyway, anytime they brought up the topic I’d get all crabby on them and we’d argue. This always kept them off my trail for a few months until the next broo haha broke out. The point is that we were not communicating WITH each other. I think that this is by far the biggest hurdle to overcome with your parents. You see, I always felt they were working on marrying me off to anyone, that they were working behind my back, that they didn’t care about my wants, needs or feelings. I wasn’t ready to get married yet I felt they were pushing me out the door! How dare they do that I thought. After all I had free rent, my clothes were washed, my meals were cooked, I was a real selfish S.O.B. It took me moving out (I wish I could tell you something cool like I got kicked out or something but no, I found a job out of town and just had to get a real job) for me to realize that my Dad wasn’t going to pay the bills and my Mom wasn’t my maid. Now to tell you the truth I don’t think I was that bad but to hear my parents say it maybe….. You see, after I moved out we started communicating better. The concept of a couple of hundred mile buffer zone really does work! My parents started to ask me about when I would like to get married. Now guys, keep the timing realistic. I believe that a guy should get married between 25 – 29 yers old. I’ll tell you what my reasons are and I’d welcome any and all feedback. First, typically guys finish University in their early to mid twenties. I figure we all need a couple of years to live alone or with buds because once you do, you start to realize (consciously and unconsciously) who you are and what you want out of life as well as your strengths and weaknesses. If you are in this situation, write a list, you’ll be surprised as to what you find. On the upper age, I think that living alone or without a spouse for too long makes a person very set in their ways and sometimes to a point of inflexibility. Remember, marriage, like most things in life is a comprimise (boy, was that ever preachy!!) Secondly, as shallow as it sounds, you don’t want to to be walking with a cane when your kids graduate from school do you? So guys, because I’m getting a little preachy and that wasn’t my intent, I’ll breakdown some general rules that I hope help: Make sure you are not forced or pushed into marriage by anyone. I don’t care if she’s pressuring you (could this be a sign of things to come?), or your parents think she’s great (hey, they don’t have to live with her for the rest of your life) or the family is pushing you, etc, etc. Get my point…. that it is up to you and only you to want to get married. Constantly be in communication with your parents. Now the touchy, feely stuff is up to you but remember your parents are looking out for your best interests, they are trying the best they know how but they need to know what you want. Which conveniently gives me a segway into point 3… Make a list (yeah sounds cheesy) but it really works. Make a REALISTIC list of things and or traits in a life partner that are important to you. My list consisted of the following elements: she had to be from Canada or U.S, I felt the cultural barrier would be too much if she was from India she had to have some knowledge of Indian culture and language she had to be willing to move to the city where I was working she had to be career and family oriented Although this list is just a partial of my whole list, I hope it gives you food for thought.